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pamfairley Offline
#1 Posted : Monday, November 26, 2012 8:49:38 PM(UTC)
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I have a "friend" who we are close to in fact we do almost all of our vacations together. Any way she asked me to help plan a skate party for her 11 year old daughter after discussing it awhile we decided to invite 7 girls after first saying 4. So during this busy weekend I designed and cut out the invites and embellished them. So "I decided to call her tonight to see if she called the skating rink for a time... She informed me that her husband wanted to rent the entire rink and invite at least 30 kids!!!! So I told her I had already finished the Invites and that I didn't have enough paper to make 30 nor do I have the time! She was like oh don't worry I'll just BUY them!! I am so pissed I have already started on the gift bags and stuff! I was doing this as a good auntie and not charging but y'all know how much work goes into hand made things!!! I want to blast her out!! What would you do?Mad pissed in Missississippi!!!!
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rhondah* on 11/26/2012(UTC)
CrafteerMisadventures Offline
#2 Posted : Monday, November 26, 2012 9:19:42 PM(UTC)
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Grrrr. I'd be soooo mad. But maybe you can use the "invites" as birthday cards? And gift bags too?

I'd still be PO'd anyway.... With friends like these.......

You have my sympathy.
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pamfairley on 11/26/2012(UTC)
rhondah* Offline
#3 Posted : Monday, November 26, 2012 9:42:00 PM(UTC)
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Angry ThumbDown I'd be mad too!
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pamfairley on 11/26/2012(UTC)
pamfairley Offline
#4 Posted : Monday, November 26, 2012 10:55:55 PM(UTC)
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That's what I'm thinking of telling her! That ill make them into cards they are skates so they will be cute winter themed cards! Thanks for letting me vent!
Emerald Offline
#5 Posted : Monday, November 26, 2012 11:13:04 PM(UTC)
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I'd me mad and vent and sure try not to ruin a wonderfully blessed friendship.
can you do a really deep breath?
With many hugs Wub
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pamfairley on 11/26/2012(UTC)
pamfairley Offline
#6 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 12:04:07 AM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Emerald Go to Quoted Post
I'd me mad and vent and sure try not to ruin a wonderfully blessed friendship.
can you do a really deep breath?
With many hugs Wub


Thanks Emerald! I'm still mad and I don't stay mad for long but, I feel that when someone is close to you and you do a lot for them they take you for granted... I do all of her scrapbooking but that to has slowed down... Because she never sends me paper or embellies or anything and she lives 2 min from hobby lobby! I could be working on my own things. my hubby told me to stop, But I just love doing things for the kids! Oh we'll a lesson learned! Breath taken!
Di&Co Offline
#7 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 6:08:14 AM(UTC)
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Im sorry this happened to you. I have the policy where I dont do any cricut creating for family and friends. Saves lots of headaches and hurt.
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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
STW Offline
#8 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 7:37:33 AM(UTC)
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Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad
wow....some people are just CLUELESS. Next time she asks you to do something, I would politely bring up this incident and how much time you spent - that "went down the drain" so that she'll know how much time is involved in these loving favors. Maybe she just doesn't realize - but I'd certainly "educate" her - in a nice way.
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Maxluv on 11/27/2012(UTC), pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
4i's Offline
#9 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 8:40:54 AM(UTC)
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This makes me so grouchy!!! I'm so sorry this happened to you!

Maybe you can finish the gift bags and put the bags and invites on Etsy or Facebook and try to recoup some money for at least the time you put into everything?
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pamfairley on 11/27/2012(UTC)
pamfairley Offline
#10 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 11:55:38 AM(UTC)
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Thanks! I think I will follow the above posters suggestion and just craft for me and my immediate family who appreciates it!
gcmcevoy Offline
#11 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 6:56:33 PM(UTC)
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That stinks!
You have every right to be mad and hubby is right too. I think we women sometimes allow our friends to take advantage of us. I hope she really values your friendship and understands how much time, effort ,and money you put into the invites and maybe will buy you some wonderful craft supplies for Christmas!
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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
TatianaBelova Offline
#12 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 7:29:36 PM(UTC)
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I'd be so mad too! Once I offered my friend to make invites for her son's clown b-day party. She said she's going to invite 10 kids, I made pop-up cards with clowns inside and juggling monkeys on the front, I tried my best, gave them to her, then she said some kids are definitely not going to come so she did not send all the invites. All she said was-yes, they are cute, thanks. No WOWs! And it really made me feel upset, because there was so much work, basically it was not appreciated. But at least some of them were sent.
I don't offer making things anymore.
Only if I know it will be appreciated.

Hope you are feeling better about it.
Soshescraps Offline
#13 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 8:01:24 PM(UTC)
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I am so sorry this happened to you. It is really hard for people to understand the hard work and craftsmanship that goes into handmade items. We as crafters and artists appreciate all of the time, quality that goes into creating our works of art. If I were you, I would have her sit and make a card, invite or scrapbook page. That way, she would clearly see how much work goes into these things.

Keep your beautiful creations I am sure you will find someone who will be able to use them. Plus post pictures so all of us can ooh and awww over them.
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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
bzymomof9 Offline
#14 Posted : Tuesday, November 27, 2012 11:23:12 PM(UTC)
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I am sorry this happened to you. I hope you and your friend work this out and the party is wonderful. You have a wonderful heart in wanting to help her. I have learned the hard way that we have to have boundaries. Although that is not easy either. I love that you are thinking about making them into winter cards. I think I would just tell her that you need more information next time and she has to buy you the paper.
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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
Cricutgirlg Offline
#15 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:48:54 AM(UTC)
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I have a phrase " You can't get screwed unless you are bending over," and Dr. Phil says" You have to teach people how to treat you." I think as a former rescuer and overdoer, I had to learn this the hard way! I was raised to be a pleaser and conditioned more to be one by needy friends. I'm happy to say I've kicked the problem with a lot of experience. Your friend obviously did not understand the amount of work, time and effort you put into creating the cards and bags. By you not even getting paper from her, she had no real investment in the project and it was easy for her to go the easy route and buy something. Pull back. Love her, but do not go down that road with her again! It's amazing how when we pull back people noticed that things are different. I hope you'll get passed this soon and take it for what it is a life lesson. I have so many life lessons that I now have a PHD in what not to do for unappreciative friends, acquaintances and family!

Edited by user Wednesday, November 28, 2012 5:49:30 AM(UTC)  | Reason: Not specified

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Leahdax on 11/28/2012(UTC), pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
DBCMC Offline
#16 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 6:02:04 AM(UTC)
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Sorry that this happened to you.... wish I could say that I don't know how you feel. I think crafters are generally a very giving bunch and we probably all have times that we remember being in your shoes. I know that doesn't help, but as someone mentioned people that aren't crafters don't have a real clue about how much time, heart and soul goes into a project. I can tell you for sure that your invites and bags certainly would be so much better than any bought in a store. Here is virtual ((((HUG))))
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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
DBCMC Offline
#17 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 6:03:59 AM(UTC)
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Originally Posted by: Cricutgirlg Go to Quoted Post
I have a phrase " You can't get screwed unless you are bending over," and Dr. Phil says" You have to teach people how to treat you." I think as a former rescuer and overdoer, I had to learn this the hard way! I was raised to be a pleaser and conditioned more to be one by needy friends. I'm happy to say I've kicked the problem with a lot of experience. Your friend obviously did not understand the amount of work, time and effort you put into creating the cards and bags. By you not even getting paper from her, she had no real investment in the project and it was easy for her to go the easy route and buy something. Pull back. Love her, but do not go down that road with her again! It's amazing how when we pull back people noticed that things are different. I hope you'll get passed this soon and take it for what it is a life lesson. I have so many life lessons that I now have a PHD in what not to do for unappreciative friends, acquaintances and family!


Thanks so much for sharing this.... was definately worth so much more than you know!!!

Have a great day!

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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
cropdropnroll Offline
#18 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 6:45:11 AM(UTC)
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PamFairley - I hate that this happened to you with a close friend. I have just started letting my family in on my little secret. LOL. I have no plans, at this point, to offer to make anything... especially for free. Your experience serves as a life lesson for me, as well. There are soooooo... many people out there who do not TRULY value or appreciate homemade/hand-crafted items, including family and close friends. TFS and hope things work out.
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pamfairley on 11/28/2012(UTC)
pamfairley Offline
#19 Posted : Wednesday, November 28, 2012 1:23:42 PM(UTC)
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Thanks so much ladies this message board is so great! I will definitely take your advice and accept your hugs! It's so nice to have friends who actually understand! All the support has made my day! I will post pictures as soon as I can!
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