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farmscraps Offline
#1 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 6:03:13 PM(UTC)
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Warning this might be long!! And it might be more of a vent..Cursing

I am just wondering if I was in the wrong here..

OK I have a "friend" and I will use that word loosely.. We have been having issues for atleast a year now..Well the night before my DH's surgery last week I couldnt sleep so I got on FB and basicaly posted I should be sleeping but couldnt because of surgery and I might be anxious? Well most people were sweet and wished my DH good luck but this "friend" popped off and said I should be on meds for depression because everyone around me can see that I havent been myself this year. She has been telling me this for almost a year. Yes I have had a stressful year. DH had a horrible accident at work. DD has been bullied and have had lots of school issues. Found out DD might have a learning disability due to her birthmom using drugs when pregnant.. Just alot..anyway she is the ONLY one sayig I need meds... so after several emails from my other friends saying that it just wasnt right that she would post something on my FB page so personal I kinda was "not so nice" and kinda told her off on FB to give her a taste of her own medicine...I know it probably was childish but I have had enough.. So honestly was I in the wrong? Should I have done it privately? BE honest I wont be offended.. I am usualy the most mild and meek person out there but like I said this last year has been awful and I am starting to grow a backbone.BigGrin

Any TIA for reading this and letting me vent..
TammiK Offline
#2 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 6:05:25 PM(UTC)
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It sounds like a rough year! If you've had this many issues with a friend then some times we have to cut our losses. If she isn't being supportive but negative, you'll have to decide if you want that in your life.

farmscraps Offline
#3 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 6:17:12 PM(UTC)
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TammiK wrote:
It sounds like a rough year! If you've had this many issues with a friend then some times we have to cut our losses. If she isn't being supportive but negative, you'll have to decide if you want that in your life.


Yes it has been a rough year... and I have kinda decided to cut my losses.. We have had several other issues and honestly I dont have the strength to deal with it..1 is tomorrow is the 1st anniversary of when our neighbors shot our dog.. and she didnt make it so I got another puppy weeks later and my friend told me I was stupid for getting another dog...ughh.. that didnt go over too well..

Thanks for your reply.BigGrin
TammiK Offline
#4 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 6:19:33 PM(UTC)
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Ouch! She isn't a true friend.
scrapbug Offline
#5 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 6:34:51 PM(UTC)
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WOW, sorry that you are going through so much. Life is hard enough as it is without having negative friends like that. I'm sure I would have told her off also.
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#6 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 6:43:16 PM(UTC)
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You need to drop the ZERO and look for HEROES!!!! You have been through so much that you need to surround yourself with positive people. If she were a true friend and felt that maybe you needed to see a doctor about your anxiety/depression, she should have taken you out for dinner or something and started by telling you she was just being concerned, not post it on fb. You were looking for encouragement on fb, not degredation. As the other person said ....cut you losses!! Good look and I know you will get through this. I did (went through a similar situation with DH). i did end up taking anxiety meds, but they really did help. God Bless
farmscraps Offline
#7 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 7:15:42 PM(UTC)
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scrapbug wrote:
WOW, sorry that you are going through so much. Life is hard enough as it is without having negative friends like that. I'm sure I would have told her off also.

LOL.. I usualy dont tell people off but man I guess enough was enough.. This is the 2nd surgery DH has gone through he also spent 2 weeks in critical care unit after his burn.
farmscraps Offline
#8 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 7:17:18 PM(UTC)
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dk1655 wrote:
You need to drop the ZERO and look for HEROES!!!! You have been through so much that you need to surround yourself with positive people. If she were a true friend and felt that maybe you needed to see a doctor about your anxiety/depression, she should have taken you out for dinner or something and started by telling you she was just being concerned, not post it on fb. You were looking for encouragement on fb, not degredation. As the other person said ....cut you losses!! Good look and I know you will get through this. I did (went through a similar situation with DH). i did end up taking anxiety meds, but they really did help. God Bless


Thank you. I have been on anxiety meds for my background wi th my mother and other personal stuff. I just dont choose to share it with ALL of my FB friends...
BugginAway Offline
#9 Posted : Monday, October 04, 2010 7:30:29 PM(UTC)
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Did she honestly think she was helping you by posting this as to say "I know you better than anyone and I think you need meds"? Not knowing if she has that sort of pushy personality and straight shooter attitude that some have, maybe she didn't think it was inappropriate and was trying to be honest with her feelings. BUT I have to say I think she should have used a PM or email if she was truely concerned. I don't blame you for being hurt with her or put off and I would just tell her since "we are being honest" - her reply on FB was quite bothering to you and you appreciate her support anyways! :( Sad she done this to you in such a public way. I hope your dh, dd and you are blessed with good health and happy days to come. :) HUGS!
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farmscraps on 10/4/2010(UTC)
lylacfey Offline
#10 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 3:10:14 AM(UTC)
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Honey,

You have had a horrible year. My gosh we all have been here for you. We know how hard it has been.

No, you were not childish. Some days people rub you the wrong way and it's ok to be five years old. I know I said you were not childish. You know what I mean. You get to have your moment. You are very much allowed.

She was in the wrong. Her concern was not handled nicely. I hope she meant well but she hit you at a low point. I know you had trouble with this woman before so cut your losses. You have friends that love you. During hard times the b-witches are the ones that effect us the most. When it's said and done in the end you usually dump them and realize you had a strong quiet support around you from other loved ones. Trust me I learned this from hard times too.

Sending you hugs. Your doing great! You really are hon.







V.Johnson Offline
#11 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 6:02:16 AM(UTC)
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I'm sorry you have been through so much. No one ever needs a "friend" like that. Walk away from her and don't look back. If you are worried about seeming childish with your post to her, consider this-everyone reading the post most likely agreed with you and they were probably silently applauding you. You probably aren't the only person she has had problems with. I think most of us would be very upset if someone posted personal things for all to see on FB and then suggested we needed meds. She was way out of line. I hope things improve for youBigGrin
scrapbug Offline
#12 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 6:25:33 AM(UTC)
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farmscraps wrote:
LOL.. I usualy dont tell people off but man I guess enough was enough.. This is the 2nd surgery DH has gone through he also spent 2 weeks in critical care unit after his burn.



I used to be a doormat but things changed in my life 4 years ago and I started sticking up for myself. Even cut two of my sisters out of my life because I just couldn't handle the stress they caused me. I come first in my life now. BigGrin
farmscraps Offline
#13 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 7:27:36 AM(UTC)
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Thank you ladies... It is nice to have support on here.. You ladies are the best.. I have decided to cut my losses and be done with this "friend" my life can only get better from here.LOL.. I do however need to get 2 of my carts back from her... now that will be a chore in itself.

Once again t hank you.BigGrin
scrapbug Offline
#14 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 7:54:00 AM(UTC)
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Get your cartridges back first, and i'm spreaking from experience. (wasn't cartridges though it was a scanner and surround sound system)Cursing
farmscraps Offline
#15 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 8:02:39 AM(UTC)
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scrapbug wrote:
Get your cartridges back first, and i'm spreaking from experience. (wasn't cartridges though it was a scanner and surround sound system)Cursing

Thats why I am playing nice at this point.LOL . MY DH even said the same thing to get my carts back so she doesnt hold them hostage..
RebeccaG. Offline
#16 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 8:13:45 AM(UTC)
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You remain in my thoughts and prayers. You are reaching out here, and I hope you are finding some comfort from the Circle. From the pieces you've shared, it seems that you have a lot to manage. Reach out to the pastor or social services at the hospital. They too can give you comfort and possibly refer you to a support group. Sometimes we just can't get through all our trials alone and the support of others can be so helpful. I pray that the surgery went well and that you get some attention for your own pain and suffering.
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farmscraps on 10/5/2010(UTC)
Camille Offline
#17 Posted : Tuesday, October 05, 2010 10:21:44 PM(UTC)
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Hope things get better for you very soon.

I would have probably done the same thing. If she was bold enough to make that post on Facebook, she deserves it.
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farmscraps on 10/6/2010(UTC)
RubyC Offline
#18 Posted : Wednesday, October 06, 2010 12:16:24 PM(UTC)
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Nope, i think you did the right thing. That was a very personal thing to say in FB. Hopefully some of her friends on fb will read this and agree with what you said to her!!Angry
farmscraps Offline
#19 Posted : Wednesday, October 06, 2010 4:41:13 PM(UTC)
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RubyC wrote:
Nope, i think you did the right thing. That was a very personal thing to say in FB. Hopefully some of her friends on fb will read this and agree with what you said to her!!Angry


Actualy her FB friends started bashing me for being so rude to her on FB..
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#20 Posted : Wednesday, October 06, 2010 6:51:45 PM(UTC)
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Honestly that does not sound like a friend and good for you for standing up to her! With friends like that who needs enemies! Hope your DH's surgery went well! Keep your head up high! Sounds like you have better friends that are supporting you, stick with them!!
lylacfey Offline
#21 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 12:59:32 AM(UTC)
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farmscraps wrote:
Actualy her FB friends started bashing me for being so rude to her on FB..


Don't let them get you down. We are all in agreement you had a right to smack back at her. Now, her friends are the ones being childish. Just ignore them. Keep us updated about getting your cartridges back.

If your feeling down just looking at RubyC's Avatar. LOL
Narelle Offline
#22 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 1:14:16 AM(UTC)
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If it were me, by now I would have either unfriended her and/or her friends or changed my security settings so they couldn't see my posts.

Nice friends.... not. Crying
LinAnn Offline
#23 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 1:16:49 AM(UTC)
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So sorry to hear this. Sounds like your friend wanted to hurt you, for some reason. I will never understand what makes a person so cruel. What's that old saying . . . ? "Walk a mile in my shoes . . . Friends like this you do not need. Hope the days ahead get brighter & brighter for you and your family. You hang in there. Smile
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#24 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 8:18:18 AM(UTC)
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If it was me, and I too do not like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it, I would not mention FB any more, go to her house, tell her you need those carts back, stand at her door until she hands them over, and then drop her as a FB friend. She is not a friend, and who needs someone like her in your life. Remember tho. when someone acts as she probably is very unhappy with her own life.

Good luck to you and your family. You have a lot of people on this message board praying for you. Including me.
farmscraps Offline
#25 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 9:06:42 AM(UTC)
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Thank you ladies.. You are the best.BigGrin

DH's surgery went well.. He is ansy to get back to work but cant go back until after his appointment on the 12th...
Daycarelady9294 Offline
#26 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 3:48:00 PM(UTC)
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wow, sorry she did that....you can go into your wall and into that message and delete her comment. Just go to the comment and in the upper right part of it, an x will show up, just click the x and it will delete it.
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#27 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 6:52:26 PM(UTC)
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You were totally in the right to do a little telling off on FB. Sounds like she needed to be put in her place by you sticking up for yourself, and doing it publicly will let everyone know you aren't willing to be treated that way.

So tell her you're coming over to take her a present, hand her an empty box made from your Cricut, get your cartridges, and vamoose!! If she asks later, tell her it was a box of empathy. BigGrin


I am sorry you are going through so much stress. Sending good vibes to you!

farmscraps Offline
#28 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 6:59:43 PM(UTC)
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Daycarelady9294 wrote:
wow, sorry she did that....you can go into your wall and into that message and delete her comment. Just go to the comment and in the upper right part of it, an x will show up, just click the x and it will delete it.


The post has been deleted but it was the fact that she chose to post that on my FB page altogether that ticks me off at all...
farmscraps Offline
#29 Posted : Thursday, October 07, 2010 7:00:50 PM(UTC)
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Flamenco92627 wrote:
You were totally in the right to do a little telling off on FB. Sounds like she needed to be put in her place by you sticking up for yourself, and doing it publicly will let everyone know you aren't willing to be treated that way.

So tell her you're coming over to take her a present, hand her an empty box made from your Cricut, get your cartridges, and vamoose!! If she asks later, tell her it was a box of empathy. BigGrin


I am sorry you are going through so much stress. Sending good vibes to you!




LOL.. that might be a fun project to make..BigGrin
SuzySunshine Offline
#30 Posted : Saturday, October 09, 2010 11:16:59 AM(UTC)
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I sure hope your year turns around! I guess with all the negative feedback from her friends and the fact that it was out of your own nature to post back at her you are feeling unsure about it. Probably wasn't the best reaction but heck surely a natural one! I don't blame you a bit and I am on the verge of speaking my own mind to a "frenemy" myself...one of those friend/enemies! Take care.
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